What Your 90s Anime Valentine Says About You
As the world continues to endure a global pandemic, we know that more than one of you will be spending your
Valentine’s Day watching anime indoors. For better or worse though, folks have always found themselves romantically attracted to two-dimensional Japanese cartoon characters, and with some of the options out there, they could hardly be blamed! From all the rainbow-haired women that would happily kick your ass to all those pretty men putting their lives on the line in their big toy robots, we feel that the 90s anime spectrum brought the most charismatic of potential Valentines to spend your in-home holiday with. Don’t believe us? Just think back to your secret Toonami crush and learn a bit about yourself along the way.
This is the moment of truth. (you can click a name to jump to your favorite)
Your 90s Anime Valentines Aisha Clan Clan – Outlaw Star You enjoy having a good time, you always looking forward to chomping down on a good meal, and you have absolutely no regard for your physical or mental well-being. Dorothy – The Big O You’re either a person who instinctively knows a good woman when they see one, or you’re a diehard Rei Ayanami fan. We can’t say for sure with our current technology… Look, technically the first season of The Big O came out in 1999, so it counts!!! Eikichi Onizuka – Great Teacher Onizuka You like a guy whose idea of ‘sexy’ is seeing a blonde girl in a bikini, and that’s okay. Neither high-school nor the 90s anime boom ever ended for you, but considering we’re writing this article, it didn’t really for us either. Gendo Ikari – Neon Genesis Evangelion You love being treated like you’re less than dirt, parental neglect doesn’t particularly bother you, and you secretly yearn to be turned into an orange slurry. Don’t look into what he may or may not have done with your mother, or his kid’s mother for that matter. Genma Saotome- Ranma 1/2 You just really love pandas and no one would ever fault you for the miracles of nature sparking such joy within you! Just make sure not to spill any hot water on this one during your first date. Ginrei – Giant Robo: The Day The Earth Stood Still We’re dropping the kayfabe for this one; If Ginrei is your Valentine, a heartfelt congratulations. You’ve made it to the highest, purest, and most admiral levels of anime fandom and genuinely love the medium, which is all we’ve ever asked of you. May you live 1000 years. Griffith – Berserk (1997) There’s no hope for you left on this earth. In the next cycle of reincarnation, you’ll surely be born as a cockroach or a sea slug. If you don’t know why we’re being so harsh, HURRY, get another date ASAP because this one won’t end well. Heero Yui – Mobile Suit Gundam Wing At best, you’re ambivalent to your bishie boyfriend threatening to kill you. At worst, you want your bishie boyfriend to threaten to kill you. One of the meanest 90s anime boys, but hell you love him, anyway. Hiei – Yu Yu Hakusho You wanted to date Kuwabara, but he was unfortunately already taken. Don’t worry though! Much like Hiei slowly learned to tolerate and even befriend a select few humans, you too will learn to love Hiei. Jet Black – Cowboy Bebop An over-flowing wallet, dashing good looks, charisma you could drown in; Clearly these superficialities. You’re ready to settle down with a good man who will treat you right and feed you home-cooked Bell Peppers and Beef every night. Disclaimer; he can’t guarantee the recipe will include beef. Lain Iwakura – Serial Experiments Lain Stop whatever you are doing and log the heck off. You’ve spent far too much time online and you can’t think clearly anymore. Take a sledgehammer to your phone first, and then your computer. Motoko Kusanagi – Ghost In The Shell Not much need for us to give any commentary here. Not like Motoko ‘The Dang Major’ Kusanagi, especially her original incarnation, would ever date any of you… or us 🙁 You might have slightly better luck with the Stand Alone Complex variety Motoko. Naga The Serpent – The Slayers (OVAs and Films) You were dropped on the head as a child, but if you were given the chance to go back in history and stop that life-changing fall, you wouldn’t. You and your damned Hime-laugh enjoy being the worst. We’re also begging you to think about your fashion a little more; there’s a reason this image in particular is cropped. Nanami Kiryuu – Revolutionary Girl Utena You love an underdog, even if they have a bit of a mean streak, or should we say an under-cow (she turns into a Cow in one episode) (do you want to turn into a cow?) (We don’t think being a cow would be so bad.) (You couldn’t watch 90s anime, but you could graze all day long :)) Nobel Gundam – Mobile Fighter G Gundam Truly, you have a hyper-specific eye for beauty that no ordinary Valentine could ever live up to. You know when you’ve seen perfection and you’re not afraid to grab it by the horns, or in this case the trademark Gundam antenna. Ryoko – Tenchi Muyo Bar none, the quintessential 90s anime girl, Misty and Sailor Moon be damned. Being a Ryoko fan is a time-honored tradition about to enter its 30th year. You’ve ended up on the right path and find yourself among friends here if she’s your Valentine. Sailor Uranus – Sailor Moon S No doubt you’ve seen a plethora of memes essentially intimating as much, but regardless of your gender or orientation, if Sailor Uranus is your Valentine, you’re probably an open-minded person. Happy we didn’t make a ‘cousin’ joke, aren’t you? Super Saiyan 4 Goku – Dragon Ball GT You understand that people change as they get older, sometimes in ways no one ever expected. Despite everyone around you telling you to get out, you embody a saintly amount of patience. You’re also not above a little monkey business and… oh, ok, we’ll see ourselves out. Tamahome – Fushigi Yugi We don’t believe you. There’s no way you wouldn’t ditch Tamahome the minute Inuyasha starting rolling in the 2000s anime Valentines. Hey, maybe we’ll write that one up next year. Vash The Stampede – Trigun You desperately wish for world peace. You desperately wish for fresh donuts every morning. You desperately wish for all your openings to have slick 90s anime guitar licks once again. You wouldn’t even mind if frosted tips made a comeback.
We apologize for absolutely nothing on this list, except for the lack of any
representation. One of the best 90s anime and chock-full of pretty boys and beautiful ladies, it’s hard to narrow it down to just one Valentine’s contender. If you have a favorite we haven’t included and you want to complain to the powers that be, come join us on our The Vision of Escaflowne Discord page! WE ARE READY TO FIGHT FOR LOVE.
Sunrise / Takehito Itou / Tooru Fujisawa / Pierrot / Studio Khara / Rumiko Takahashi / Studio Deen / Mitsuteru Yokoyama / Mu Animation Studio / Kentaro Miura / OLM TEAM IGUCHI / Yoshihiro Togashi / Triangle Staff / Masamune Shirow / Production IG / Hajime Kanzaka / Rui Araizumi / J.C. Staff / Be-Papas / Masaki Kajishima / AIC / Naoko Takeuchi / Toei Animation / Akira Toriyama / Yuu Watase / Yasuhiro Nightow / Madhouse