I Survived McDonald’s Japan-Only Four-Layer Cheeseburger

For better or worse, I’ve got a habit of signing myself up to do really, really stupid tasks. This time unlike in the past, however, I might have taken that stupidity a little too far. If there’s any one thing that McDonald’s Japan is good at, it’s running larger-than-life campaigns with their food. Last year we saw the Mega Size menu, which offered us enough fries for a family in a single package amongst other oversized foods. This year was kicked off in a similar fashion, this time taking aim at the iconic cheeseburger.

It all started off earlier this month with the “DabuChi” (Double Cheeseburger) and “ToriChi” (Triple Cheeseburger) availability on the menu. The limited-time campaign was a bit of harmless fun, even though that ToriChi was absolutely a beast worthy of its own category. It was as that campaign was coming to a close, however, that McDonald’s Japan decided to unleash something truly, genuinely painful. The “DabuDabuChi” (Double Double Cheeseburger), McDonald’s latest limited-time item, is the embodiment of ridiculousness wrapped and served at the price of 420 yen.

“Even when the burger isn’t in front of you anymore, it’s physically there with you existing ever-presently inside of you.”

There’s always room for mistakes in your life, and this one definitely took up a whole lot of that room. Today I put myself through the sluggish nightmare that was the “DabuDabuChi” just so you wouldn’t have to, and I lived(?) to tell the tale. From the very beginning, it was abundantly clear I had made a mistake. Whether it was the stream of oil that shot out when I unwrapped the burger or the fact I could see my own reflection on the golden buns that tipped me off is unclear, but I could definitely tell this wasn’t a good idea.

Getting straight into it, this isn’t your ordinary meal. With a total of four pieces of meat and two pieces of cheese, every bite is a grease explosion in your mouth — something that doesn’t feel too good shortly after. Even when the burger isn’t in front of you anymore, it’s physically there with you existing ever-presently inside of you. Even some 12 hours after eating the monstrosity, I’m still reeling in from the aftereffects. If you were stumbling around Japan and saw promotions for this burger and wondered to yourself if you should challenge it, I would plead you not to do so.

Thankfully the burger isn’t here to stay and is expected to be removed from McDonald’s Japan’s menu on February 6, 2018. If you’re for some reason wanting to try it, however, all I can share is my warning — don’t do it. For further information on the burger, and just what it’s putting inside of you, McDonald’s Japan has set up a webpage with all the nutritional information you could need.

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